I started this on Feb 29… haven’t posted it yet, but I think that it is a good “creative” exercise for me as I enter the last 8 weeks of my college career (!!)
Day 1 : Five Ways to Win My Heart
1. Loving the Lord
3. Holding my hand
4. Appreciating art
5. Blonde hair, blue eyes, named Travis Masters :)
Day 2: Something I Feel Strongly About
Native American Ministry- I have had the amazing opportunity to spend a large portion of my summers on Standing Rock Reservation in North Dakota. I love my friends that have become like family. I have been shaken and challenged and become more fully the person that the Lord wants me to be during my time there. Some of my best and worst times have taken place in that place with those people, and I am incredibly thankful for the heart that the Lakota have taught me to have.
Day 3: A Book I Love
Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequest
Day 4: Bullet My Whole Day
– Sleep until 10 (thank you nyquil and this awful cold)
– Drive to the North Shore mall to pick up photos
– Spend an hour at Target picking out a shower curtain
– Eat a grilled cheese
– Drive back to North Shore mall to pick up photos (again, now that machine works)
– Apply for 2 jobs
– Make photo sets
– Make dinner
– Go out to celebrate Will’s 22nd birthday; drink a delicious Woodchuck
– Watch an episode of Breaking Bad with Travis
Day 5: Things I Want to Say to an Ex
I know that we will never be friends again. I’m not sure if you ever really knew me, even after almost 2 years. I have found closure on my own; I am still dealing with how your dishonesty hurt me even years later. You are getting married. I allowed the two of you to ruin my life for a few months, maybe longer. I could not bear knowing that you were with her in between the texts and the phone calls… the back and forth of “I miss you, I love you still, I’m just confused”.
If I could sit you down right now and have you hear me out this is what I would say. Treat her with respect. Be honest, truthful and vulnerable. Ask her questions and be genuinely interested in her response. Don’t put her on a pedestal of expectation. Don’t make the same mistakes. Apologize. You owe her everything, even if you think she is wrong and irrational. Let her question you and challenge you. Don’t lie to her, don’t abandon her, don’t walk out on her. Don’t try to control her. When you promise to love her every day from your wedding day on, mean it. I hope and pray that for her sake and for yours that you have grown and admitted the wrongdoings of your past so that two of you can be whole.
Know that I have moved on, that I have healed, and that I now know that I am worth the investment. I am treated with respect, honesty, and gratitude. I am valued because he knows me. He understands me. Did you know there is a difference between understanding and comprehension? To understand means to submit oneself to the other. Comprehension implies control. He understands me; I understand him. We don’t try to control each other. He doesn’t put me on a pedestal of expectation. He is my best friend. He can tell me I am being irrational without cutting me down. We challenge each other, question each other. I would not know how to be truly and utterly grateful for the God fearing man that he has placed in my life if I had not experienced the hell that was our relationship and break up. So, in a sense, thank you.