planning

Right now I feel like the worst artist ever. I have ideas brewing in my head. I am lazy, though. My six months off from painting has turned into almost a year, and that is horrifying. Will I become one of those people who just can’t get motivated unless I am in a class? The horror. Seriously, the horror. 
 
It has been an incredible and busy time of year. After running around like a chicken with its head cut off, I think I can now call myself a stress-free bride-to-be. We planned, crunched numbers, argued, cried, started over and repeated. Finally, and thankfully, we both got to a place where we realized that if at the end of the night we are married, then we have accomplished everything that September 13th is supposed to be. Then we contemplated eloping for a good while. 
 
While that still sounds tempting – a sunset vow exchange with the ocean on one side and a lush jungle on the other – we are still getting married in Annapolis. We have been putting in our time investing in marriage planning now, and that has been fruitful. It has also been exhausting and sometimes annoying. That is the beauty of it, because that is what marriage will be. It will be intimate, vulnerable, frustrating, disappointing, raw, hard work. 
 
This is making me appreciate and covet the few months we have left as an engaged couple. It is such a unique position to be in – this strange balancing act – this “almost”. 
 
I am contemplating family and theology, intimacy and expectation. We will see what comes of that as an artistic expression of this time of life… if I can ever get myself organized and motivated. 

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